49 replies to this topic

[Rezer]

So I'm sitting here, bored, having had my partner in crime quit that [i]other[/i] mmo, and I decide to log on. Whoopededoo, let's go say hi to the late night crew, thought innocent little me. So I log on my adorable little level 6 wannabe Rezer, a native to this "Maelin" atrocity, and blech, the guild's been reformed and I'm not tagged. After a good cry, I decide yes! I'll play everquest again! I can be l33t once more! I'll make them beg to take me back! So, being only level 6, I decide to take up my civic duty hopping aimlessly around freeport (fatigue blows) before embarking on my new journey. Within 30 seconds I'm on the walls to the city, 10 more and I'm trapped in a slot for the gates that don't actually exist. Now I'm stuck...trapped for an eternity with no hope for rescue, no way to survive the harsh climate, no end to the torment in sight, save for death. How many times in the past had I been force to restart having been dealt the same cruel hand by that assclown we call fate? How many more would it take to regain my place in that 60 watt bulb that I'll affectionately refer to as the sun? Why don't I remember this game being so HARD?!

So, with nothing but unanswered questions, I did the only logical thing:

I quit.

After coming back for 5 minutes.

I think I beat Wardaanx!

[Amaeranth]

wouldn't be so hard if you didn't bail~ miss you

[Kamile]

It wasn't meant to be. That's why god gave you the option of WoW or EQ2.

[Spyder AK]

Hey Rezer~

[Sarc]

Bored, huh? Here I am trying to talk you into WoW, and you're bored? Wouldn't play DaoC with Moobit and I, nor AO.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

You are all aware that Reh-zer has a life size poster of an EQ ranger with a cut out of his ugly mullet-carrying face pasted on it? Some of us managed to quit, come back, quit, come back, quit....then come back a year later just to quit again. But noo, Sir Schmuck keeps taunting himself with pictures of his former perceived glory, and thus keeps paying for the damn game so he can relive those few years of his life where children did not run away screaming at the very sight of him. How his grooming practices have actually degraded over the years now that he actually leaves his room is beyond me.

He needs to do what I do...never talk to people you liked in EQ, nor post on the board no matter how much you'd like to say 'Hi' to those people you played with for years, and cry yourself to sleep at the all the time wasted playing the wrong classes in a game you loved, thus forcing your unhappines unto everyone else. As everyone knows, it worked wonders for my relationships with everyone in CT.



Sarc/Prefect/Whatever the hell name I was using last in CT

~Notice how I can still mock Rezer to say 'Hello'

[Metranon]

rezer, kelwen emailed me, he's out of the military and wants your phone number, i still had on file from an old HTML save of the CT phone list i did in case i got disconnected at a raid (back when my phone isp was terrible)

so of course i told him you'de love to talk to him and gave him the number, have you heard from him yet?

[Rezer]

No sir I have not, though calbik did give me a call recently. It was scary!

Also, I can't help but reply to this:

[quote]You are all aware that Reh-zer has a life size poster of an EQ ranger with a cut out of his ugly mullet-carrying face pasted on it?[/quote]

Lies, all of them. It's pronounced Reezer.

[Tellis Stormchaser]

hey rezer. There's a /rewind command to get you unstuck. FYI.

Good to see you're still breathing.

And wow, do my eyes decieve me? Sarc reappears? Hey ho.

Edited by Tellis Stormchaser, 21 November 2004 - 12:11 AM.

[Caladore Buhbong]

Yeah I tried too, but coming back not having the time to commit to it and finding that your now about as "UBER" as most casual players kinda really sucks after putting that much time into something.

Lookin forward to WoW and still playing CoH. Its nice to be able to play casual without huge personal expectations.

[Amaeranth]

See... people don't understand why I'm such a sarcastic, mean-hearted bitch. I can now point my finger to you... I miss you guys so much.

[Slyikibar]

oh god Sarc is back posting!

Now there is a guy I miss. Please go post some movie reviews fast!

[Sarc]

That's easy Sly~ They all suck. Though I have fallen behind on the few that have a chance of well, not sucking - Primer, Machinist, Sideways, Kinsey, and Incredibles (but Pixar movies have always been hugely overrated). Last great movie was Spartan, and I think the 3 friends I forced to go see it were the only ones that in fact, did see it.

Sarc,

Now a slave to WoW after standing in line with Rezer for 5 hours at Fountain Valley. How sad ><

[Vyvyin]

I'm really considering WoW now, just for the opportunity to play with Kamile, Rezer and Sarc again.

[Yaxa]

Are they still giving the finger to Europeans? Heard rumors that they might have changed their minds...

[Kwanlei]

Sarc,

I miss those movie reviews.

[url="http://p201.ezboard.com/fthecrimsontempestboardfrm6.showMessage?topicID=315.topic"]http://p201.ezboard.com/fthecrimsontempest...picID=315.topic[/url]

[Sarc]

I can't read it...but I'll assume its a classic review by your truly. Another guess....it involves the words "sucks," "royal," "goat-cheese," and "hexamethylene." What? Of course I did not pick a random word from the dictionary to finish that! How dare you accuse me of....you dirty greaser! You and all your greaser pals are DEAD! Hear me? DEAD!


On a side note, Rezer has in fact combined the look of the Greaser (commonly found in such turly awful 'classics' as The Outsiders) and the look of the stoned Hippie (commonly found on a bean-bag chair) into one genetic smorgasbord that is his Yeti self. Pictures have not been included because I am still too tired from last night to stand up against the possibility of defending myself in a War Crimes trial tomorrow.

Sarc~

Oh, and what server are people playing on in WoW? Rezer mentioned something about other people playing and maybe playing on a mountain/central server (which I had suggested anyways....after seeing the freakshow that was the Southern California crowd). I threw my favorite names up and played 1 char each to lvl 6 on Doomhammer for Mountain and Blackhand for Central before passing out. The Central servers were (for some reason) much laggier (350-450) compared to the Mountain servers...dunno if anyone in one of them cigarette-producing red-state-voting hick states notice any lag in them though.

Sir Dorksalot (as he keeps telling me to call him) seems to be stuck on his pansy NE hunter idea (probably cause I got my orc hunter to 32 in beta and he just wants me to play the crappy side out of spite)...so Im waiting for him or anyone else to really figure out the server/side people are playing so I can show up and look down everyone's dresses.

What? No rat-boobies? EQ2 only? BAH!

[Caladore Buhbong]

Im on hellscream with the rest of the chicago guys that still play.

edit: server change.

Edited by Caladore Buhbong, 23 November 2004 - 04:52 PM.

[Sarc]

Quick add - Central servers: still around 350-400 ping, Mountain 30-50~
So hopefully its a mountain server, nyah.

And I thought they were still forcing European players to play on those servers from what I last heard. Haven't particularly looked around for any new information on that though, so not sure here.

Hugs, kisses, and maybe a quick feel or two (I actually shuddered writing that),

Sarc

[Kamile]

I'm attempting to get on Skullcrusher with Globin.

[Kwanlei]

Sarc, yes it was. I will quote it here. [quote]Road to Perdition, Reign of Fire, and the Croc Hunter~
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The good ol' 3-movie Saturday~ and to use an obvious cliche: The subject title could be renamed 'The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.'

First off, Perdition will join Insomnia and Panic Room as the only Good movies released this year. So that makes it 1) Insomnia with an A, 2) Panic Room with an A-, 3) Road to Perdition with a slightly lower A-

Its incredibly similar to American Beauty in the way that it is very good, but I only see myself watching it maybe twice more in the next year or two at most. Ive seen Beauty maybe 4 times total. Its just the type of movie you don't watch too often. But that's not resulting from any problems with the movie or the cast. This is yet another Tom Hanks role that normal actor would kill for. And Hanks fills it very well, never making you think just how Un-Hanks the role is. I don't see him getting nominated for the role, but that's because he played it just right. It's not a role of screaming or crying, its very quiet and intentional. Jude Law (one of the best actors under 40 out there), takes a 'dirty' role and like always, does a hell of a job. The movie is quite slow, not unlike American Beauty, and using the same DOP, has teh same look (which is, just amazing to watch). But maybe because of American's unexpected well...beauty, the photography in this one seems like its too aware of itself, and doesn't quite pull me in as well as American's. Losing the humor that helped fill American, Perdition instead includes some truly well designed scenes of build-up. Hanks and Law's (who was hired to kill Hanks) characters meeting in a diner leads to some brilliant back and forth between the two as you sit waiting for the shit to hit the fan. Another involving a Stock-Ticker is equally as good in the build up as Law comes to yet again, kill Hanks.

And, even though I usually spoil stuff because these are less reviews in the sense people know them, than they are discussions about what actually happens in the movies, I wont say anything specific...but, I almost thought the movie was going to make a big mistake and leave one character story/strand out there without tying it together. But it didnt take long to snap back from the "almost all movies would have fucked this up" trace I was in before I realized that it was not going to pussy out and it all came together just fine. Damn good movie, Hanks is outstanding~



So that was the good, onto the Bad: Reign of Fire.

As much as it angers me to admit it, I did not hate this movie. It falls along the same lines as Minority Report in this fashion: Both were bad, but while watching them I wasnt pissed off. Looking back on both though, is where the turds float to the surface. I blame it on the fact that Reign of Fire, no matter how stupid (Ill get to that later), was filmed and acted...adequately. I mean, Rob Bowman did a great job with the X-Files movie. This is a step down, but it's still done decently. As for Christian Bale and McConaughey, they do what they can with so little. So 2 of the 3 main things with a movie (the acting, directing/photography, and writing) are ...ok. The Bourne Identity proved that if you get all 3 up to "adequate," it can prove to be a fairly watchable movie. But Reign goes and pisses all over the third part to making a movie: the script.

Whats funny is its not the dialogue specifically. None of it is truly eye-rolling. Its more of the "ok, this was written on a weekend" type of story we're given. A harpoon can take down a dragon, but large caliber bullets flying at a much higher velocity cant hurt a dragon...sure. Actually, maybe thats just because the soldiers behind the guns never seem to actually hit this huge fucker standing right in front of them, as the wide shot-cgi scene show nothing but thousands of bullets flying into the sky...none anywhere near the 20 story dragon. Maybe its McConaughey taking a few potshots with a short-barrel shotgun as a dragon flies towards him that made me laugh~

Or maybe its because the story falls under the category titled: "Battlefield Earth version x.x." See, the writers have to come up with an enemy that can wipe out 99% of the earth's population, but then must lose to the remaining 1% who have nowhere near the resources the planet has at the time of the wipeout. Also, they borrow from the "Independence Day version x.x" pile with the 'well, we want there to be millions of "the enemy" (in this case dragons), but because it will come down to anywhere between 1 and 4 people to kill them, there must be a "Super Enemy" that if killed, will mean the demise of the entire race of "enemies." In this case, its the one Male Dragon~ Who lives just down the block no less. I love the reasoning that theres only one: "The females lay the eggs and the male drops his sperm to fertilize the eggs. Hence, only ONE male!" Nice load of shit. Im sure that's how nature works: theres just one cockroach out there, did you know that? They take a actual type of reproduction and bastardize it to fit the story. I hate that.

So whats left? It IS watchable, but there are no really good scenes, so why would you bother? It's 'suck,' but in that indifferent way. Unlike say, Scooby Doo, which for all but two minutes, seemed to be only there to prove there is no god, Reign of Fire just proves, for the entire run-time, that god doesn't care. I'd rather pluck out an eye than watch Scooby Doo, but there are 3-4 scenes that are actually funny. Its just that they are surrounded by total garbage. Reign on the other hand, has no worth-while scenes to write about, but never made me want to blind myself. Take your pick to which is worse. EDIT: Oh yeah, and there is basically no build-up for the ending "kill the dragon sequence." I swear, I thought there was another dragon that was gonna show up and say "Im the real bad guy! The one you just killed was my lackey." Reign: D.



And then we stood outside the theater and decided to finish up the night with Croc Hunter:Collision Course, since it was free. Unfortunately, it only took about 5 minutes to realize I'd rather have just driven home.

I love the croc hunter. Dont get me wrong when you read this, I enjoy his "Aw Crikey!" and "Dont evah do this!" as much, if not more than most do. He comes off like a fricken idiot, but if you've ever seen the clip where he gets bitten on the hand by a croc...he doesnt even flinch, let alone pull away, since he knows it will only get the croc into thrashing his hand up. Instead he waits for it to release his hand, and then he pulls back. That is amazing. To not pull away from unexpected pain is something that I imagine, very few can do.
And, just watching Steve deal with animals and blurt out these horrid 'should-be' catchphrases...I laughed my ass off at a few sequences in this movie. "Its some sort of poacher-war!" and, after hearing gunshots "Aw Crikey! These guys mean business!"

But you can see him on TV...why would you pay money to watch him in the theater. What can he offer that is new, that you havent seen? Thats the problem: Nothing.

The movie doesn't even fit together. It constantly cuts from Steve and Terri, to 2 CIA agents after something that fell from a satellite, to some fat Aussie woman with a shotgun. The first is filmed just like the television show...even in 1:33, so you'll notice the black bars on the sides. This was stupid. I thought the idea of filming it the same way..with Steve continually looking and talking to the camera was ingenious and obvious at the same time...but if anything, I wanted to see that in widescreen! 2:35 scope, dolby digital surround sound, with THX approved speakers of Irwin wrestling gators was my idea of a good movie~ Oh well. Also, these scenes are cut to shit...like a movie. This was stupid. As steve is wrestling crocs, it cuts to underwater shots that include an obvious fake-croc for some shots. It actually looked worse than the damn TV show with the editing and addition of the fake crocs. Im sure a few other shots were with the fake croc as well~ not just the few underwater ones. But by and large, its basically the same as the show. He does wrestle a seemingly pissed off croc (if that wasnt faked at all..that croc was VERY pissed off), and shows off a snake and tarantula for the camera. But what of this havent we seen before? And seen...better?

It doesnt help that the surrounding "story" added to the movie is sooooo bad. I mean, Scooby Doo is like War and Peace to Croc Hunter's script. So that means half the movie truly is unwatchable. Apparently the Croc Dundee movies found the few aussies that could "act" or at least seem funny, since everyone in this movie is godawful. So when it cuts back to Steve, you just let out a breath of relief and hope to god you get another 10 minutes before they go back to the other 2 segments that are cut in with the Croc wrastlin'! At least on television, the commercials only last 2-3 minutes. In this movie the shithole breaks between what you came to see last 5-10 minutes.

But Steve is still funny. I think the movie should have just gone full slapstick though, since the scripted sequences with the croc and him are already half-way there. Just realize that its godawful in every way possible when Steve isnt on...including some actor that looks like Sean Penn had sex with a Baldwin Brother...and this poor bastard got all the bad genes. Croc: Big F. The surrounding parts are just TOO bad to overlook in favor of the same stuff I can see Irwin do on TV.[/quote]